Script 2nd Draft
FADE IN.
TITLE SEQUENCE.
Sinister music featuring vocals and a piano; playing through the background.
Production logo for "BRD.Ganesan Pictures" is revealed on screen.
Throughout this title sequence, the credits of the cast and crew are shown in red font against a black background.
After the key names have been credited; the title "A Lost Soul" is revealed against a growling musical track.
CUT TO.
INT. BASEMENT - BED AREA - TIME OF DAY IS UNKNOWN.
The scene is introduced with the inclusion of a 'bass sound effect' to provide a sudden shock and awe to the introduction to this new location.
ROTATING PULL BACK SHOT: THE SHOT STARTS WITH AN UPSIDE DOWN (CU),WITH THE CAMERA FACING THE RIGHT SIDE OF A YOUNG MAN'S FACE; HE WAKES UP SUDDENLY AS HE GASPS FOR AIR. THE SHOT CONTINUES AS IT PULLS BACK WHILST ROTATING TO AN UPRIGHT POSITION; ENDING WITH A MEDIUM SHOT OF THE YOUNG MAN IN AN UP RIGHT POSTURE, SITTING ON THE DIRTY FLOOR OF A DARKLY LIT BASEMENT.
The man has awoken to a dark and gloomy basement in a place he doesn't know.
His ears begin to ring.
MEDIUM CLOSE UP: CAMERA IS FACING THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE MAN.
He covers his ears with his hands at an attempt to block out the ringing.But the ringing continues, he feels something dripping out from his ears. The young man removes his hands away from his ear, dragging his hands across his cheeks and smearing a trail of thick red blood across his face.
He places his hands in front of him so he can see what is coming from his ears; only to find out that it is blood.
He responds in a shock.
The young man begins to react in a panic by smacking his hands against his ears at an attempt to regain his hearing.
But he still can't hear anything except for the ringing from his ears and the thumping like sound created as he bashes his hands against his ears.
Shortly after, the ringing begins to fade and his hearing comes back ; causing a very unsettling musical track to fade in from the background.
The young man looks over to the left to where he hears the music coming from; finding out that the song is being played from an old cassette stereo player placed on the floor besides him, surrounded by shrouds tools as well as texts written in blood by the wall behind it.
He picks up the stereo from floor; the song is causing him to feel a sensation of discomfort and fear.
As he holds the stereo in his hands; trying to figure out how to turn the song off, he presses a button on the stereo causing the track to mute.
He places the stereo down and rests his back against the wall behind him. Taking a deep breathe in , he closes his eyes as a sign of temporary relief.
All of the sudden, the chilling song continues to play which immediately causes the young man to react with deep shock.
WHIP PAN: SHOT COMMENCES WITH THE CAMERA LOOKING AT THE YOUNG MAN AS HE SITS BY THE WALL AND THEN WHIPS TO A SHOT PUSHING IN ON ANOTHER STEREO.
The young man is filled with rage and leaps up for floor and paces towards this secondary stereo.
The chilling song continues to play through the stereo; the young man grabs the stereo and throws it towards the ground causing the device to shatter across the floor.
CUT-IN: A (MCU) SLOW-MOTION SHOT AT 60-120FPS OF THE STEREO SHATTERING ACROSS THE FLOOR.
After he has let out his anger on the stereo, the man stands by his mess created by the floor and breathes in heavily.
'KNOCK,KNOCK,KNOCK!'
A loud knocking against a door can be heard, startling the young man.
PUSH IN:CAMERA IS PLACE BEHIND THE YOUNG MAN AS HE LOOKS OVER HIS SHOULDER TOWARDS THE DIRECTION OF WHERE THE KNOCKING IS COMING FROM.
The young man makes his way towards to origin of the sound, exploring the rest of the basement.
CUT TO.
INT. BASEMENT - STAIRS - TIME OF DAY IS UNKNOWN.
He comes across a set of stairs that lead up to a door.
The young man slowly makes his way to the top of the stairs,only to find a sandwich by the door resting on a plate with a card that reads "Enjoy the sandwich! :)"
He picks up the sandwich and gobbles it up.
After taking a bit or two, he stops to munch at the sandwich as he finds that the sandwich has quite a vile taste.
Scattering noises can be heard coming from the sandwich.
The young man looks down at the sandwich to see what is in between the bread.
PULL BACK SHOT: SHOT BEGINS WITH A CLOSE UP OF THE YOUNG MAN'S FACE, THE CAMERA QUICKLY PULLING BACK TO SHOW THE SANDWICH IN HIS HAND.
CUT-IN:(ECU) SHOWING INSECTS MOVING AROUND BETWEEN THE BREAD.
MEDIUM SHOT:HE DROPS THE SANDWICH IS UTTER SHOCK AND DISGUSTING.
EXTREME CLOSE UP:OF THE SANDWICH HITTING THE GROUND.
The young man stumbles down the stair cast to a wall and vomits as a result of consuming a sandwich filled with insects.
A phone begins to ring.
Frightened as to where it may be coming from; he looks around thinking someone else is with him. He then feels a phone vibrating in his pocket, he picks it out from his pocket and looks at the caller ID titled "Lucifer".
He answers the call.
The caller speaks with a deep and muffled voice.
CALLER
Did you enjoy the sandwich Max?
Max ignores the caller's question only to ask a question of his own.
MAX
(He asks with aggression)
Who the fuck is this?
CALLER
(responds in a solemn tone)
An entity fighting for truth and justice .
MAX
listen here you prick, I'm done with your little games! now...
Max is interrupted.
CALLER
But I'm not done with you.
(brief pause)
What you don't realise Max is that you must be punished for your crimes against humanity.
(pause)
Whether you like it or not, you are here for a reason. And in time... you'll find out why.
Max appears to flushed with rage.
CALLER
Now Max, go and open up the briefcase I've left behind for you.
Max is lost at the sudden knowledge of a briefcase.
MAX
What briefcase?
CALLER
One moment please.
Growing impatient, Max lets out a brief outburst of frustration as the caller leaves the call momentarily.
CALLER
Check the place where you woke up.
Max listens and follows the command given by the caller , he walks to where he woke up.
CUT TO.
INT. BASEMENT - BED AREA - TIME OF DAY IS UNKNOWN.
As Max reaches the door frame into the area which he awoke; he suddenly freezes and lowers the phone down till his hand is by his side.
Max mutters a brief sentence that reflects his shear shock and disbelief.
MAX
Jesus Christ!
PUSH-PULL SHOT: REVEALING THE BRIEFCASE LYING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM.
Max brings the phone back up to his ear with the expressions of disbelief radiating from his face as his eyes lay wide open as he glares at the briefcase.
MAX
How are you doing this?
CALLER
I have a helping hand...
Max laughs.
MAX
(He boasts with confidence)
By that, you mean there's a secret door.
CALLER
(responses with emphasis)
By that, I mean I've got someone down there with you...
Max's boastful nerve shrivels and grows into pure fear for the unknown presents of someone living amongst.
MAX
I say bullshit!
The caller responds with complete disregard for whether Max believes it or not.
CALLER
If you really don't believe me, then why don't I call my helper out from the shadows. And see for yourself.
MAX
No! I just want to get out of here.
CALLER
Then open the briefcase.
MEDIUM SHOT: SHOWING THE BRIEF CASE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE FRAME; MAX KNEELS DOWN INTO THE FRAME ON THE LEFT SIDE.
Max places the phone on the floor and activates the speaker mode.
Max grabs the briefcase and unlocks it.
He lays the opened briefcase back down onto the floor and notices that there is nothing but documents inside. Max examines the content in order to see the information held within them.
All of the documents contain records of various students.
Max is seen swiping through the piles of student records but is unable to see the relevance of these documents.
MAX
Why am I looking at records of people that go to my school?
CALLER
Your ticket out of this place, rests on you finding out the connection between you and these people. Only then will you understand why you where condemned here in the first place.
Max stands up as he hold the records in his hands.
Max walks around the room in circles as he continues to glare at the student records; dropping them one after another and unable to find a link.
MAX
(he shouts with frustration)
I don't know any of them!
Out of frustration, Max tosses the pile of records in the open air around him; floating down swiftly surround Max as it were the first sight of snowfall.
CUT-IN: A MEDIUM SHOT IN SLOW-MOTION SHOT OF THE PAPER FALLING AROUND MAX.
CUT-IN: A CLOSE UP IN SLOW-MOTION SHOWING MAX'S FRUSTRATION AS HIS HAND ARE PLACED BY THE BACK OF HIS HEAD, DIGGING HIS FINGERS IN HIS HAIR WHILST THE PAPER CONTINUES TO FALL AROUND HIM.
Max's attention gets caught on a particular record.
PUSH-IN: ON ONE INDIVIDUAL RECORD LYING AMONGST OTHERS AROUND IT.
Max picks this specific record that caught his attention.
MAX
(he speaks with certainty)
I know this guy.
CUT-IN: (ECU) CAMERA SHOWING THE PERSON'S NAME ON THE RECORD "KEVIN MCDONALD".
MAX
Kevin McDonald
CALLER
And what did you know about him?
MAX
(he responds with sympathy)
Nothing, just his name and that he had a fetish Anime.
An anime themed track begins to fade in, building towards a transition.
CUT TO.
INT. MEDIA CLASSROOM - MIDDAY
The anime themed track continues through to this scene.
A Caucasian boy is seen facing a computer watching an anime cartoon, listening to the audio through his head phones.
DOLLY SHOT: CAMERA PUSHES IN ON THE BOY AS HIS BACK FACES THE CAMERA.
Max walks in to the frame and begins to insult Kevin by mocking his obsession with anime.
Max's dialogue begins to fade out, and the sound of an ear ringing gradually fades in. Signifying the pain Max's words are in fact hurting Kevin.
CUT TO.
INT. BASEMENT - BED AREA - TIME OF DAY IS UNKNOWN.
Max realises the reason as to why he is here.
MAX
Oh my god, Kevin I'm so sorry.
CALLER
Don't apologise to me!
MAX
No, Kevin if only I knew how much it hurt you then I'd...
CALLER
I'm not Kevin!
Max is in disbelief.
CALLER
Kevin killed himself 2 days ago.
Max is paralyzed with shock.
CALLER
His parents found him dead in his bed with a packet of rat poison in his hand. Kevin left them a suicide note that simply read "I can't take it anymore"
MAX
I can't believe this is happening.
CALLER
Believe it Max! So don't start apologising to me, you think Kevin's life is the only one you ruined.
(brief pause)
What about Kevin's parents? their only child is gone. His best friends; Andy,Micheal and Steven.
CUT-IN:CLOSE UPS OF THE RECORDS FOR ANDY, MICHEAL AND STEVEN.
CALLER
What about me Max?
CUT TO.
INT. MEDIA CLASSROOM - MIDDAY
CALLER V.O
Everyday I had to listen all the horrible things you said to that poor boy. Day by day I'd pray, hoping that you'd see the wrong in what you were doing; but you never did.
Max's rant at Kevin continues;nothing is heard but through Max's body language expressing his pleasure as he torments Kevin.
PULL BACK SHOT: CAMERA SLOWLY PULLS BACK AWAY FROM MAX AND KEVIN, WIDENING THE FRAME. TILL THE FRAME REVEALS A WOMAN SITTING THERE WATCHING MAX'S ENTIRE TORMENT .
CUT TO.
INT. BASEMENT - BED AREA - TIME OF DAY IS UNKNOWN.
Max is still consumed with unsettling sensation of guilty as he is the sole blame for all their pain and suffering.
CALLER V.O
For a while I blamed myself for what happened to Kevin, you see if I'd just went up to you that day and told you to stop; then maybe he'd see that you're nothing more than a coward.
(long pause)
But its too late to ask for forgiveness; maybe if you were such a heartless bully,then Kevin would still be here
And now you are going to rot in here for the rest of your pathetic excuse for a life; then you'll know what it feels like to be a lost soul.
PUSH-PULL SHOT: WIDE SHOT OF MAX KNEELING DOWN TO THE FLOOR.
As Max is seen kneeling down in complete sorrow, behind him a ghostly figure emerges from the corner.
DIP TO BLACK.
THE END.
Summary
I've completed the 2nd draft of the script which had the entire vision as to what I want from the story including the particular shot types I want to shoot for specific moments.
In order to gain some initial feedback on my work, I gave it to a number of friends and family in order to give new opinion on the script. Their overall thoughts were pleasingly positive, they enjoyed the story and found it quite tense and jawing; which was the reaction I was hoping for. However they did point our various grammatical errors and lines of dialogue throughout the draft that I certainly must fix.
From the feedback I also thought about adding additional scenes to add more character development; particularly towards the opening of the film. This is an idea I'm considering and may lead to a director's cut of "A Lost Soul"
